Marriage Compatibility Test

I wonder how many couples take a marriage compatibility test before tying the knot? I mean really dig down and ask the tough questions. Is there any personality compatibility at all? Or are they just going through the motions because that is what is expected of them?



I am not a marriage expert. I have no counseling experience. I am just a regular guy. I was married and made a lot of mistakes. Mistakes that I see a lot of other couples making or on their way to making.

I am writing this in response to an article I read that was posted on PsychologyToday.com. It described how most women are unhappy in their marriage, and unhappy with their husbands. First of all I want a survey of husbands. I also want to know how old these women were when they got married. That being said, the question has to asked Why did these people get married in the first place?I wonder how many of these couple take a marriage compatibility test. In fact, it should be mandatory to take one before marriage. Perhaps this is an unhealthy relationship that it is simply time to let go of. Life does go on.

Personality Compatibility

Too many people get married because they are "in love". Well bully for you. Let me tell you something. Love isn't the reason to get married. Are you even compatible with this person? What do you have in common? Have you sat down and looked at your personal core values? Do you even know what your partner's values and beliefs are in regards to money, children, careers, friendships, family? One of the reasons that people do not know what questions to ask before marriage is that they are too young to be getting married in the first place. They think they are mature enough to be getting married or they just want to beat their friends to the alter. They would scoff at the idea of taking a marriage compatibility test. Or they are afraid of being alone. There are benefits to being single you know.
If you are under thirty you have not even formed your own self identity yet. You are still trying to figure out who you are as a person. Most guys under age thirty have more in common with Hr Puff n Stuff or the Pillsbury Doughboy than they do with a female. They want to spend more time with their video game console than they do with you.
Here is a newsflash for any female reading this. Your partner does not want to get married. He is doing it to make you happy. To shut you up. Because he is feeling pressured. Once most guys get married they think their job is done. They have no idea that there is marriage relationship building that still has to take place. Sorry to burst your bubble girls. And we wonder why women(and men) are unhappy in their marriages.

Questions To Ask Before Marriage

People are afraid to ask the tough questions before marriage, afraid to take a marriage compatibility test, because they are afraid of what it may reveal about their relationship. That is the point. Isn't it better to find out now, before you get married, rather then later. Take responsibility for what will be the biggest decision of your life. If you think you are mature enough to be getting married then you must be asking these questions of yourself and your partner. Take a marriage compatibility test.


I believe couples planning a long term relationship, or already immersed in one, should answer these questions separately, in writing, and then discuss their answers together. Try to understand your partner's point of view, and think of ways you can meet in the middle.

Here are just a few of the questions you should consider asking.


  • Could you be happy/fulfilled without marriage?

  • Why do you want to get married? What are you hoping to gain? What can you offer your partner in return?

  • How important is affection? How do you feel about public displays of affection?

  • Does a marriage require ongoing maintenance? What kind of things should you monitor?

  • Is a marriage "hard work"? If so, why do you want to fill your life with hard work?

  • How do you feel about exercise and long term health? Alternative approaches to medicine?

  • Who does the cooking, dishes, laundry, vacuuming, dusting, garbage/recycles, kitchen floors and counters, bathrooms, grocery shopping, errands, lawn maintenance, snow shoveling, gardening, and odd jobs around the house? Do you expect to hire someone to do some of these tasks, such as the lawn?

  • Although you have (or will have) a permanent sex partner, do you still enjoy watching erotic images of others on tape or on the printed page?

  • How important is good sex to a good marriage? How important is a good marriage to good sex?

  • Do you want to have children?

  • Who is responsible for the child raising duties?

  • How important are material possessions to you? What would happen if you lost everything in a fire?

  • How much of your income would you like to save?

  • Do you like to gamble? Do you drink alcohol? Do you smoke? Do drugs? How often?

  • Do you like to live in a rural setting, a city, or a suburb?


Got you thinking a bit didn't it? Good! And there are hundreds more marriage compatibility test questions that need to be asked on topics such as religion, politics, sleeping habits, your home, eating/food, vacations and hobbies, pets, your upbringing, sex, money, and more.

Please do not get married because you think you are in love. Ask the tough questions before marriage. I wish I had.

For great insight on relationships and love advice, click here




Coping with Loneliness


Cultivating a Positive Attitude


Go from Marriage Compatibility Test to Strong Relationships


Go to the My Personal Improvement Home Page





footer for Marriage compatibility test page