Relax and Enjoy the MomentWe are very busy people these days. Who has the time to relax? We rush, rush, rush, go, go, go. There never seems to be enough time to get things done. Both spouses work and that is fine. But then we come home and off we go again. Why do we feel the need to fill our lives with so much activity? Now of course some of these activities or pursuits are for our own personal growth and personal development, be it spiritual or health motivated. Others may be for pure enjoyment such as taking a class in something you enjoy, such as cooking or painting. I am not suggesting you stop these things. Far too often I see that people have so much going on, that when they finally get to sit still or get into bed their mind is still going 100 miles per hour and they have a difficult time slowing their thoughts and getting some much needed sleep. We need quiet. Sometimes this quiet will help us to reflect and find answers to certain questions that are waiting to be answered. At other times we need quiet to just help us relax and forget for a few moments about those same questions. We have to tell ourselves that it okay to slow down. We should aim to live in the moment. Give yourself permission to sit still and breathe. I feel that for true personal development we must do this. It is easy to make excuses to not do this. We have small children or there is always something that needs to be done. We tell ourselves that we do not have enough time I understand. But try to plan for it. Set aside a certain time of day when you knowyou will not be interrupted for at least fifteen minutes. 1. Meditate Meditation lulls the conscious mind into a restful state where slower alpha waves replace the faster waking beta waves, making it easier to relax. Generally, it takes from two to four minutes to begin feel the effects. After that, you simply drop deeper and deeper into a meditative state. For some people, mantric meditation works fine. For others, it seems to be an opportunity for the subconscious mind to dredge up everything it's been wanting to tell you for weeks! If that's your experience, i.e., it ISN'T peaceful, you may want to skip the mantric form and move on. 2. Follow your breathing. There is another way to meditate and relax, and it produces somewhat different effects than the mantric form above. Both methods will enable you to relax and shift into a different state of consciousness. In the event that the mantric form proves too difficult, you may want to try this. Get in a comfortable sitting position. Inhale through your nose, hold your breath for perhaps a second or so, and then slowly exhale from the lower abdominal region by gently forcing the air downward and out. Continue breathing this way until it feels natural and easy. This can take some time, maybe several sessions of ten to twenty minutes each. With practice, however, you'll find that this form of breathing relaxes both mind and body. You remain awake, aware (not "tuned out" as in mantric meditation), and relaxed. In this state, it's very likely that everything seems distant and nothing bothers you. Before long, you'll find it comfortable to breathe in this manner and then simply "follow" your breaths, particularly your exhalations. With practice, you'll discover that it is a powerful way to quiet both mind and body. 3. Focus on the "one point". Your "one point" is a point about two inches below the navel where, according to Zen lore, everything balances physically and psychologically. Simply directing your mind to this one point can have a powerful calming and relaxing effect. As an assist, you can find your one point by looping your thumb around your belt buckle (assuming you're wearing one) and allowing your large finger to touch your navel. The point where it touches is your one point. A bit of pressure there can help you focus. Incidentally, this is an excellent technique for regaining your composure, say, in a stressful meeting. Also, the act of focusing tends to regularize your breathing and lower your heart rate. 4. Find a safe harbor. A safe harbor is simply a mental "place" to which you can retire whenever you choose. It may be an image of a childhood hideaway, a memory of an especially peaceful scene, or a "picture" of your own creating. Whatever you choose, it's a place where you can go just by closing your eyes and visualizing it. It's a place where no one else can come. That's why it's called a "safe harbor." 5. Chew slowly. Yes ,that's what it says! When you become stressed, there are numerous side effects--your heart rate increases, your head starts pounding, your palms sweat and, if you're eating, you begin chewing faster. Chewing slowly can become a kind of meditation. So can digging in the garden, dropping pebbles in a pond, or petting your dog or cat. So, while chewing slowly is a healthful act in itself, it's also a metaphor for all those things you can do to gently. SLOW DOWN. 6. Avoid stimulants. Caffeine is the most wildly used drug in the world. If you're an inveterate coffee drinker, you may not like this one, but drinks that contain caffeine are not conducive to quieting your mind. Yes, they help you stay awake and may enhance your energy,but they are not quieting. 7. Reduce your fat intake. A high fat intake can slow down your mind, but it will tend to leave you sluggish and groggy rather than energized and clear. Wonder why you're sleepy after a big dinner? You guessed it: too much fat. Reducing your fat intake helps regularize the entire system, including your mind. Stick with fruits, vegetables, water lean sources or protein. You'll be amazed how different you feel at the end of the day, AND your mind will be rested and quiet too. 8. Act deliberately. There's a tactic in the martial arts in which you purposely adopt movements that are opposite to those of your opponent. If he/she moves quickly, you move slowly, and vice versa. The principle is not to adopt a particular pattern, but rather, to act deliberately, to use your opponent's movements as a way of defining your own course of action. Sounds paradoxical, I know, but it works. Outside the martial arts arena, the principle is more general: make your every move a deliberate one. Deliberateness by itself quiets your mind and infuses oneself with a sense of inner control. 9. Sit out under the stars. When was the last time you sat outside in the dark and gazed at the stars? I don't mean when you last studied the constellations or went for a vigorous night walk. The star gazing I'm referring to is the kind that allows you to "feel" the immensity of infinite space. It's very relaxing and, at the same time, invigorating experience. If you haven't tried it recently, tonight may be a good night. 10. Create easily accessible benchmark rhythms. Use the sights and sounds around you. If you've ever slept on a train, you know how hypnotic and relaxing the repetitive sound of the wheels on the tracks can be. There are literally hundreds of sounds around us each day that can be employed as a kind of consciousness mantra. Any soothing music with a steady measured tempo with do. Think of a clock ticking rhythmically on the wall, a gentle rain or waves crashing on a beach. Capture the rhythms of these sounds and use them to become quiet. If you're attentive, you'll discover them almost everywhere, and you'll realize that life can be a lot more peaceful than it often is.
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